A lot of things will try to drive you apart as a couple, but the secret is to make sure that your love for each other is strong enough to overcome anything life throws at you. It can be hard to do when there are so many distractions around us, but if you work together and support each other to remain together for a lifetime, then you will be able to be happy.
The fear of losing your spouse or partner is one of the most painful and long-lasting emotional effects of infidelity. It is not uncommon for the betrayed spouse to be terrified that they will lose their partner because of the cheating.
Relationships take work — and fighting is a natural part of that. Couples who don’t argue might be boring or “too comfortable,” but they also might be the ones on the way out. Arguments are healthy for relationships as long as they lead to solutions, said Seth Meyers, couples therapist and author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Whether you’ve moved along or still building on forgiveness and forgetfulness, here are some attitudes to shun.
Don’t think in terms of “all or nothing”
Don’t try to ignore, suppress, or get rid of negative emotions at once. When you’re angry with someone, it’s very easy to dismiss what they say and think that you’re in the right. As soon as you’ve cooled off, try to summarize your partner’s point of view and see how you two can reconcile.
Most relationships are not perfect, so there’s a higher chance that the little things that upset you won’t be the norm for leaving. Take heart that, as long as your relationship is honest, loyal, and works toward your goals, you can make it work.
Use the appropriate location
Fighting on the streets is never a good idea, only animals and the uneducated use it as a location for their brawl. It’s not hard to control your anger, so why not do it in your own home? Fighting in your own home can be done safely and without fear that you’ll both lose your reputation. Don’t yell now, people will get a good chuckle out of you when you behave this way on the road.
Screaming at each other in public is rude! There are many places where you can let out your anger and frustration without being seen or heard. A murderer, no matter the conviction, deserves to be heard in a court of law, not in prison.
Make no qualms about fighting
Arguments can have many causes, when your sleep is disrupted; you’re more likely to have a bad day at work or a headache. The Institute of California, located at Berkeley found that sleep-deprived couples are more likely to have arguments. Maybe you’re having a rough day at work, you’re running on fumes, and you just want to come home and decompress with your partner.
However, you don’t want them to think that you’re always down in the dumps when you get home. If you can muster the time, try sending a text before coming home that says, “Hey, I’m thinking of you! Just wanted to let you know I may be more irritable when I get home.
Take a deep breath every now and then
If you think the argument has gone nowhere and needs to come to a rest, maybe it’s time for a timeout. Drinking water can help reduce the heat in your body and keep your blood pressure normal. Don’t forget to think about how you can resolve the issue as well and think about what your spouse had to say.
When you and your spouse disagree, it’s important to remember that you are fighting as a team, not people who work in the same office. Approach the disagreement with an open mind and analyze all the facts – don’t get hung up on paranoia. You and your partner have been through this before.
Don’t dwell over what sparked the brawl
When you experience problems, let your focus be on the solutions to the problem. Your energy is better used to find a resolution for the situation instead of dwelling on it. Focus on how you can get back to a place of happiness and not on the bad memories. A good fight is when you resolve the issue at hand. Don’t be angry with your spouse and blame him/her for making you feel this way, always remember one thing – together you are better than apart.
You attempt to negotiate over a text- message
Lots of coupes believe in the 3-day rule in arguments. So, they wait a few days before taking any action. That’s better to understand the situation and calm down their ideas. Also, texting is a great way to communicate with loved ones, Emojis, good luck wishes, and dinner plans are just some of the ways texting is used. It is not so great for arguments though, since they can easily be misinterpreted, and as a result, lead to conflict. This is because of the lack of non-verbal cues experienced, however, when you’re trying to chat it out, make sure to call a friend or set up a Skype session.
You have no idea how hostile or antisocial your demeanor is
We get so wrapped up in an argument and what we’re saying, that we’re not paying attention to what our body language is giving off. Particularly for those who have been through a lot of relational trauma in their lives, these non-verbal cues and body language may be even more critical.
The first step to getting over an argument is to be able to identify the initial cause. Are you not hearing what your partner is saying because your adrenaline is pumping? Or are you just disagreeing because you’re hurt and not listening? Once you’ve identified your initial cause, the next step is to learn to recognize what your body is doing.
Complete it with care and affection
The fighting will not cease unless you put a stop to it. A fight with your spouse means you want to make things right and fix the mistakes you have made. To help you stop the fighting, talk about what the problem is and how it should be solved to prevent it from happening again.
Final thoughts
How can you make your marriage work? What are some of the important aspects of a loving marriage? Learning from mistakes is one of the most important steps. Finding the concessions that will satisfy your opposing viewpoints on subjects such as principles or philosophy is one of the most important aspects of a happy marriage.
