If your boyfriend blocks you after a fight, then he is clearly upset. It is even possible he might consider the relationship done with. If you’re reading this, I believe you most probably want everything to get back to how it was before the fight. For that to happen, you must first analyze the situation and determine the status of things in your relationship.
Introspection
Determine the state of your relationship. First, you need to determine the state of your relationship and ask yourself tough questions. What did I see in my partner that got me attracted to him? Do I still like what I saw in my partner and why? Am I happy with the intimacy we share? Am I still interested in the relationship? Is my boyfriend still interested in the relationship? Self-evaluation is paramount here and will lead to self-discovery.
Address what went wrong. If you have determined that you are still interested in the relationship, the next step is to address what went wrong. Reflect and analyze the situation with equanimity. What role did you play in the degradation of the events? If you did it by your words, you need to accept your wrong and write out ways to avoid getting to that point again. If perchance the relationship does not continue, this will help you become a better person.
Accept the role that you played. Acknowledge that your differences make you who you are but can mar your relationship.
Ask yourself what mistakes you made and how they hurt him. This will help you understand things from his point of view. It will help you to appreciate that he has the right to be angry with you. And it will help you to refrain from repeating those mistakes.
Proffer solutions. How can you prevent these mistakes from occurring again? You will eventually need to tell him this so that he’ll know you are intentional about working on yourself and making the relationship work.
Give him some time. Now understand that your boyfriend has a right to take some time for himself. He needs some personal space to make his own decisions concerning the relationship. However, you should not allow it to go too long. That way, he doesn’t start thinking you are no longer interested. If he feels you owe him an apology, the longer you wait, the more awkward it will get between you.
Apologize to him
Reach out to him. Believe it or not, before the advent of social media, people could still get in touch with each other. Establish contact with him through various means and apologize to him. Here, you outline all the things you did wrong and acknowledge them. Tell him the things you hope to change so that he knows you are serious and willing to change.
Hear him out. As much as you want to apologize all day and make sure he knows you love him, let him vent. Genuine communication starts with a dialogue. There is a problem if the conversation is one-sided. Let him air his grievances and take note of errors that you didn’t see before.
Remind him how much you love him. Bring up some great memories you share and assure him of your love. Acknowledge the new things he pointed out that you did not take note of before. Let him know you are invested in the relationship and willing to work on those things he mentioned.
Do something special. Go out of your way to make up. Buy a thoughtful gift or cook a nice dinner. Whatever you do, make it count! Load up on what you know he loves. That way, he sees you going out of your way.
Prevention is better than cure
If you are both genuinely committed to building a future together, anger is a tool that can destroy your relationship.
It is never okay to give silent treatment in response to any issue. However, to avoid making decisions when we are angry at our significant other, we might need some time to cool off before responding.
Plan a date each week. It is wise to have some time each week to speak about things that might have offended you. This will help avoid having your relationship fall apart from a build-up of offense.
Agree to never cut off communication. No matter what, love without clear communication cannot last. Lack of communication only breeds insecurity and opens the door for trust, honesty, and mutual respect to disappear.
Be open with each other. You and your partner have to agree to be open with each other. This involves sharing your feelings. Anyone who needs some personal time can ask for it, but silence should never answer any issues. Also, be willing to put down your defenses.
Be willing to compromise. Compromise is important for any relationship to work. Sometimes you both have to give up your idea of what should be done for the good of your relationship.
CAUTION!!!
If this is an isolated event or the issue that led to the breakdown was very severe, then you can ignore this. However, if it is a recurring event, then there might be more severe issues.
When you introspect, ask yourself; is he controlling? Does he isolate you from friends and family? Are you ALWAYS wrong? Does he cut communication off at will? If the answer to most of these questions is yes, then you have a problem on your hands.
Even if you decide to continue the relationship, you should also think of seeking help in therapy. If your boyfriend does not seem willing to seek help, you might have to consider ending the relationship.
Conclusion
Unconditional love is responsible and forgiving. But it is no excuse for empty apologies without long-term solutions. Hopefully, you both can accept your part in the dilemma and resolve it amicably.
It is also essential to put plans in place to prevent the situation from repeating itself. But most of, all be open to each other because you get love when you give it.
